Someone save the saviour
by vicsheawalker
Summary: Events take place after the events of 4bx18, Emma breaks down after learning the truth about her parents, and turns to the knife to cope. What will happen when she's discovered? Trigger warning, self-harm, attempted suicide, depression, panic attacks. A/N, this is my first story, so please give me some honest feedback so I can grow as a writer. Rated M as a precaution.


**Events take place after the events of 4x18, Emma breaks down after learning the truth about her parents, and turns to the knife to cope. What will happen when she's discovered? Trigger warning, self-harm, attempted suicide, depression, panic attacks.**

**A/N, this is my first story, so please give me some honest feedback so I can grow as a writer.**  
**Also, I own nothing. Obviously.**

**EMMA-**

Emma stormed away from her parents, eyed filled with tears she refused to shed until she was alone. "Emma! Wait, come back!" Mary Margret shrieked, voice thick with emotion, "Please, just let us explain!" she called again. Ignoring them, Emma sprinted down the street, heading toward her Bug "Fuck, fuck, fuck! God dammit just once I want someone to be who they say they are!" Emma said to herself as soon as she was safely out of earshot. When she reached the aged yellow Volkswagen Bug she didn't hesitate, yanking the door open and roaring the engine to life in one swift motion, the car lurched and she sped off down the road, carrying the savior even further away from the people she once trusted.

She had no idea where she was going. She just knew she wanted to get away from everyone. "Why? Just fucking why?" Emma said to herself, tears finally falling free and spilling onto her red leather jacket. She could feel it, the dam she had up constantly to prevent herself from getting hurt burst, and a wave of emotion so despairingly strong swept over her all at once. She slammed on the brakes, turning down a side street and parked under a street lamp. Gasping for air and clutching her chest she screamed, "Oh god. Ow!" It was just too much, shoulders shaking uncontrollably. She felt like a broken little girl again. Rejected by everyone. With not a single parental figure to hold her and tell her it's all right. Emma cried and cried and cried some more until she no longer had a tear to shed. When she had finished, Emma looked out of her windshield to find herself just a few streets away from Granny's Inn.

Emma walked into the door of the Inn, eyes red and raw, and feeling as if she could lay down and cry herself until there was nothing left of her but an empty shell. "I need a room, Granny." She said thickly, "Just please, and don't ask. I just need a damn room." She could feel another panic attack coming on, and didn't want to break down in front of anyone. Granny looked at her, eyes full of concern, "Alright, Emma. Here you are." The aged woman said, sliding Emma a brass room key with the number 2 etched in it. Emma took the key, noting how badly her hands were shaking, "Thanks Granny." Was all she said, turning and hurriedly walking to the room before the wrinkled old woman could ask any questions.

Not a minute after Emma closed the door of her room did another wave hit her. She let out a strangled cry, cut off with the severe hitching in her throat. All of a sudden, Emma felt as if she couldn't breathe, as if the world were pressing down on her and she couldn't catch her breath. She stripped out of her leather jacket, letting it fall to the floor, then took off her shoes and jeans and tossed them into the corner. A loud 'thunk' issued from where the jeans made contact with the floor. Emotional turmoil temporarily subdued replaced with a perplexing curiosity, Emma walked over to the clothes heap, wearing only a white camisole and her underwear. The investigation lasted only a few seconds, for Emma discovered the culprit of the noise almost as soon as she picked up her jeans. Taking the object in hand, Emma slowly walked back to the bed of the room, sitting on the edge. She couldn't take her eyes off the exquisite silver pocket knife she habitually carried around. It had been years since Emma turned to the knife, the faint scars that adorned her wrist was all she had left of her painful past. With one last tear falling freely from her eye and splashing onto the blade Emma unfolded her old friend. She began slicing at her delicate wrists, not trying to kill herself, but not necessarily caring if she accidently took it too far.

**REGINA-**

Regina scowled as she sped down the street. Cursing herself for letting Gold her the best of her, and letting the author get away. Her phone rang, snapping her out of her trance, glancing at the screen she groaned at the caller ID, "What do you want, Snow?" Regina said scathingly. The young brunettes voice was thick as if she'd been crying and full of worry, "Regina, we have Henry. It's Emma, she found out about the secret I told you… she stormed off and – the brunette's voice cracked- and we can't find her anywhere. I called Hook and he hasn't seen her, everyone is out looking." Regina rolled her eyes, "Perhaps it would be logical to check the only Inn we have in town?" seriously, Regina thought. How stupid could these people be? Snow began again, "I hadn't even thought of that." She stated, "Never you mind, I'm only a street away from Granny's Inn right now, I'll stop by and ask if they've seen her." Regina replied, ending the call.

Granny's was (as expected) deserted apart from Emma's yellow Bug. "Well look, at that." Regina said to herself, smirking. Walking through the door of the Inn, Granny hurriedly rushed from the back room, "Oh madam mayor, it's you." The woman said, face dropping of expression. "I don't have time to play games. Have you seen Swan? I told her parents I'd stop in on my way home and check if she were here." The old woman's face became agrief with anxiety, "Actually yes she is, I was about to call the Charmings. I heard her earlier and she seems to be having a breakdown or something." Granny said, "She's in room two." The old woman finished. Regina nodded, turning to the stairway.

**EMMA-**

Emma smiled, the overwhelming emotion she felt earlier was released the moment she began cutting. She looked at her wrist, she had five deep gashes thinly organized into crimson lines ending midway up her forearm. Blood stained her camisole, and deep ruby droplets coated her legs. "Just one more." Emma said, she just needed one more moment of physical pain before the emotional pain died away at last. Taking the blood stained knife in her hand, Emma raised it to her wrist. "What the fuck are you doing Emma!?" Came a yell in the doorway. Emma jumped, dropping the knife and raising her eyes to find the once evil queen glaring bewilderingly at her. "Emma, what the actual fuck are you doing?" she repeated, storming into the room and grabbing the knife from the floor. Emma sat there on the bed staring unflinchingly at the queen, "Well, looks like you caught me red handed." Emma said sarcastically, glancing down at her blood stained palms. Emma couldn't handle this, not right now, "Just get out of here Regina. Just get the fuck out of here." The blonde spat. The brunette woman stared at Emma for a moment, before rolling up the sleeves of her blouse and showing her the scores of thin white scars patterned on the queens wrist, "You aren't the only one Emma, I understand what it feels like to be alone." Regina said emotionally. Emma stared, shocked by the revelation, "I don't know what to do anymore…" she finally whispered, bowing her head in defeat, tears rolling down her face for the third time that night, "Every time I let myself care… It just… Blows up in my face. I can't handle it anymore… I can't handle the disappointment or the rejection." The blonde choked out. Regina smiled a understanding, watery eyed smile, bending down and touching the bloody broken girl's knee, "When I figure out how to handle it, I'll let you know." Said Regina, then said, "I've been lost so long I don't think I'd know what to do with myself if I became happy. I won't judge you, because I get it, but we both have to try to be strong. For henry at the very least." Emma looked up at the woman she once thought to be an enemy, "For Henry's sake, I'll try… I need help with these… If anyone see's…" Emma trailed off, noticing her mistake. Regina bit her lip, "Emma… there are too many…. You can't…. there so noticeable… fuck it, I'll get bandages, you'll just have to wear that damned jacket." Regina said with conviction.

**REGINA-**

Regina set to work, leaving the room to fetch Granny's first aid kit, as she left the room she hears an almost inaudible, "Thank you." Come from the broken blonde girl. Almost guiltily, Regina remembered the search party currently tearing the town apart, looking for Emma. She pulled out her phone, and called the last person she wanted to talk to. The phone only rang twice before an anxious voice issued from the other end, "Oh Regina! I'm so glad you got back to me, I'm stuck here at the loft with the kids or else I'd be out looking. Have you found her?!" Came the desperate plea of Mary Margret. Regina rolled her eyes, "Yes, I found her. She's at Granny's. I'm taking care of her, I just left the room to get the first aid-" Regina cut herself off, cursing herself for being so tactless. "First aid?! What the hell happened? Is she alright? Oh my god I'm on my way." Mary Margret announced before hanging up. "Well… Fuck." Is all Regina could manage. Grabbing the first aid and returning to the room, "Oh my god Emma!" Regina screamed. The blonde was sprawled out on the floor, having fallen over and passed out due to blood loss in the time Regina had left. Her mangled wrist strewn awkwardly and haphazardly off to the side, her white tang top almost completely red, and blood soaked her legs and hair, splatters of crimson dotted the beautiful woman's face. A face almost white in color.

**MARY MARGRET-**

Mary Margret was absolutely a mess. She flew into a fury, calling David and telling him to grab Killian and meet her at Granny's Inn, that Emma was hurt, and that she was dropping the kids off with Ruby. Henry was relentlessly bombarding her with questions, demanding she tell him what was going on, "What happened to my mom?! Why won't you tell me anything?!" he yelled, "Henry, I don't know what's going on with Emma. I'll tell you as soon as I know anything." She replied, trying to keep her voice even. Dropping Neal and Henry off with Ruby, she promised to call and update them all whenever she knew anything.

**KILLIAN-**

Killian felt like his heart had been ripped out and crushed before his very eyes, "Emma, please love. Come back to me." Was all he could manage, tears falling onto his true loves face as he hold her in his arms. David and Mary Margret were both at his side, sitting on the foot of the bed quietly sobbing, while Regina barked orders at her cell phone, "I don't give a damn about speed limits, get your fucking asses over to Granny's Inn right now or else I'll be looking for new Hospital staff for my town." Her voice hard and unforgiving. Mary Margret was beside herself, "David, oh David, this is all our fault. We did this, our baby. Oh my god. We did this David, if she dies…" she trailed off stunned by her own words. Killian snapped his head up, glaring with loathing at the Charmings, "She bloody well won't die, she's survived worse in her time as a lass in the regular world. Don't you dare say she'll leave me." He spat, then returned to rocking his girlfriend in his arms, a sob rose in his throat, "Bloody hell Swan, please just stay with me. Please Emma, come back to me love." He cried.

**EMMA-**

When Emma woke up, she knew her secret was out. Blinking at the bright hospital lights, she tried to sit up, Killian jumped out of the arm chair he was taking residence on, "Emma, love, you're awake!" He called out to a group of people down the hall, "Oi! You lot! She's woken up!" Emma felt tears well up in her eyes as Killian approached her, "Hey lass, don't cry. It's alright. You're alright." He climbed into her bed, wrapping his hook arm safely around her head, so she lay on it like a pillow, and holding her hand with the other. Emma couldn't handle it, she started to cry again, "Emma, don't cry…" Mary Margret said as she entered, eyed swollen and puffy from crying herself, "We love you, Emma, we're so sorry… We were just trying to protect you… to give you your best shot." Her mother said to her. David looked down at his daughter, "Emma we love you, and we're here for you." Was all he could say. Regina entered the room, "Granny and Ruby are here, I told them to take Henry and Neal back to Snow's house." She announced, "Emma, I'll leave you with your family. Just remember what I said, and don't hesitate to call." She said before turning and exiting the room. Killian could tell Emma was stretched to the max, that she couldn't take it anymore, "Why don't you all let her rest a tick, she's bloody worn out." He kindly said. Her parents promised to come back the following day. "Thank you Killian." Emma whispered. Killian smiled, "Parents, I can deal with, love." His voice became thick with emotion, "I know why you turned to the knife, dear. I confess I have as well. Just, please come to me first next time, we can work through it together." He was holding back tears, she could tell. "Killian… I love you." She replied reaching up and taking his face in her bandaged hand, "You're worth living for. We'll work through it all. Together." She smiled, and his restraint crumbled as tears fell from his eyes, he kissed her passionately, "Yes we will, Swan."


End file.
